In March 2012, Abdul-Rahman Kassig, then known as Peter, went to Beirut while on spring break from Butler University. There, he saw the suffering and death of Syrian people displaced by war. Rather than get on a plane and return home, he sent this letter to family and friends.
“I have tried to live my life in a way that displays what it is that I believe, but the truth is, much of my life I have only been searching for my calling, I had not yet found it,” he wrote in the email. “Here, in this land, I have found my calling. I have lived a selfish life, I have run until I could not run anymore.”
http://www.indystar.com/story/news/2014/10/14/isis-hostage-kassig-email-run-anymore/17275297/
http://abcnews.go.com/International/letter-isis-hostage-kassig-found-calling/story?id=26187401
The following is an email written by Peter Kassig (now Abdul-Rahman Kassig) on March 18, 2012. Some portions of the email have been deleted to protect his safety.
Dear Friends, Family, and Teachers,
Yesterday I had the best conversation that I have ever had with my mom. From 4,000 miles away in a shelled out parking lot in Beirut I told her about what I had been involved in over the last week.
I wrote this email once before today already but the internet is finicky here and so I lost all of what I had typed up before I could send it.
Yesterday I went to the camps outside of Beirut. In In Burj el-Burajneh 18,000 refugees are crammed into 1 sq. km of housing in the most deplorable of conditions. There, people die everyday. There is a shortage of basic medical supplies, food, furniture…there is a shortage of everything except suffering.
I don’t want to waste your time by trying to explain what is in my heart and in my mind. Many of you have known me for many years, others have only known me a short while. Either way, I have tried to live my life in a way that displays what it is that I believe, but the truth is, much of my life I have only been searching for my calling, I had not yet found it.
Here, in this land, I have found my calling. I have lived a selfish life, I have run until I could not run anymore.
I do not know much, every day that I am here I have more questions and less answers, but what I do know is that I have a chance to do something here, to take a stand. To make a difference.
Yesterday my life was laid out on a table in front of me. With only hours left before my scheduled flight back to the United States, I watched people dying right in front of me. I had seen it before and I had walked away before.
I don’t expect everyone to understand this and I think I did a much better job in my first draft but you’ll just have to take my word for it I guess.
I am staying in the region indefinitely. I am formally requesting that I be withdrawn from my courses for the remainder of the semester.
I have had the conversation with my parents and it was the easiest one we ever had. They knew simply from the sound of my voice. I have never been freer, more alive, happier, or better received than in this place.
There is too much work to be done here. Too many people in need of immediate help.
I know what it is that I lose by staying, but those who can understand what is to be gained by staying require no further explanation, and those that don’t…no amount of explanation would ever be enough.
This decision isn’t one that everyone would make, most people wouldn’t I guess, but those of you that really know me understand that this is what I was made to do. My whole life has led me to this point in time.
I am enrolling in Arabic courses taught where I am staying, and launching immediately into what can be done to support life, hope, peace, and freedom.
It’s strange, for the first time in a long there isn’t that old familiar fear in my chest that I have come to know so well. For most, this world is madness, but for me, the madness resides in the world I’m leaving behind.
Well, I guess that’s it then. This isn’t goodbye but its definitely a change. You can always reach me via email or cell. I promise to stay as safe as I am capable of staying. Anytime I’m in beirut you can know I’m fine its super tame here….
I’m just not going to turn my back this time, it’s as simple as that.
With Love and Respect,
Peter
