This column was originally published in the June 23rd, 2012 edition of The Kingston Whig-Standard

I am sure many of us ponder on the meaning of our lives. Is it the pursuit of happiness in this world or is it more about preparing for the life in the hereafter? Is it about accepting the existential argument that this is all there is, and therefore do good here and be happy here? Or is it belief in a religion that defines the expectations of life on Earth, which is directly linked to results in a life after death, with God as the focus?

How do we integrate our particular belief system with what actually happens to us?

It is true that when life seems to be fairly even keeled, most of one’s efforts are focused on maintaining the balance. Certainly there is no preparation for facing impending horrors that shake the foundation of one’s being.

For example, if one is forced to deal with the shock and pain of losing one’s home and all of one’s possessions, it makes one concentrate on the fundamental questions about the meaning of life.

As Samuel Johnson said, “Nothing concentrates the mind like a hanging” or I would say: nothing concentrates the mind like a significant trauma.

A young friend asked what I had learned from these experiences of loss, fears and worrying about what the future holds for my family. A very good question with no easy answers. Did I truly learn that possessions don’t matter, that the memories, which are so enmeshed with the belongings, will fade? That the losses also include losing one’s past?

As a Muslim, I must accept the good with the bad, as “God knows best.” I need to learn from these experiences as well as to learn patience. Another quote from Johnson that is similar to what Islam teaches — “Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.”

I know one of the lessons learned is that we must practice some detachment from the material world. Following the teachings and practices of Sufism, Buddhism or the Hindu Ashtavakra Gita would be wise, because they insist that the right focus is on the union with God.

The Ashtavakra Gita says, “To attain liberation, give up passions, practise forgiveness, simplicity, compassion, contentment and truths.” Buddha taught that life is illusory and pain — dukh — and humans fool themselves thinking this earthly world is the true reality. Sufism teaches that the goal is “fana” or annihilation of oneself within the Godhead.

On the other hand, these teachings and practices are dismissed by other people whose aim in life is to live a good life and search for happiness in the here and now.

As the 1776 U.S Declaration of Independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I think most of us find this declaration reasonable and worth pursuing for ourselves and for those we love. How often have we said, “I want my children to be happy” but are we are clear as to the definition of happiness?

In 2011, Leger Marketing’s Canadian survey on a “Happiness Barometer” found Canada ranked 23rd out of 58 countries. The explanation was perhaps the definition of happiness is different for different peoples, as Canadians expect happiness to be spectacular. Strangely, in 2012, another survey, World Happiness Report, ranked Canada fifth out of 150 countries, and the measures were based on economic, social and environmental qualities. So how we define happiness affects such surveys.

Recently Bhutan, a Buddhist country, gathered data on their Gross National Happiness, rather than on measures such as national gross product. They want to assess psychological well-being, community vitality, cultural diversity, time use, good governance, health, education, ecology and living standards, as part of happiness. This is a rather broad definition of happiness or what I would call well-being and contentment.

So where am I with all this philosophizing?

I don’t believe in pursuing a narrow definition of happiness as a goal. I don’t know if I can practice total detachment as I do love my family and friends and beauty. I have learned that most people are extremely kind and generous, but there are those who are not, and do deliberate harm.

I have reluctantly accepted that there is evil and I cannot protect myself from it, but must learn to bear it. As Buddha said, “Think not lightly of evil, saying ‘It will not come to me.’ Drop by drop is that water pot filled. Likewise, the fool gathering it little by little fills himself with evil.”

I have learned that I must go beyond my sadness, concentrate on Islam’s message of being God-consciousness or Taqwa, and follow Helen Keller’s advice:

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”